Deadpool 2 vs. The Avengers: Infinity War

There is no vs. – that is just a pure teasing. The Avengers failed big time. Deadpool is winner of all metawars and galactic all-time-purposes, in a very mixed team which makes those Avengers look pale, wooden and semi-transparent, blown away like sawdust. [spoiler alert: reading on may tamper with your taste and expectations!]

Those who rejoice and bathe in Infinity War watching it a 100x should examine themselves about their childhood, their general human motifs and the relation with their parents in long sessions of professional help. (Yes, there was this British 17-year old guy who watched the dreadful thing 100x in the cinema, breaking a record.) Deadpool wins big time because he IS the master of death, but preserves babies, even the most evil ones. And he is funny. Thanos is not.

Deadpool 2 is formidable sparkling stone in Marvel´s agenda of making comic movies with a lot of layers and intelligent settings, even if it is as dumb as having Peter in there, with no superpowers other than a moustache. Utterly hilarious. A gem. A real Infinity jewel of meta-jokes, breaking the 4th wall in super-sonic speed and making fun of everything – even breaching into other Marvel movies big time – and re-writing history. See the outtake-scene of Deadpool going back in time to deal with Hitler-baby. Fantastic – and the counterpoint to the Thanos story-arc of “balancing life through death” which is exactly the reasoning of mad dictators and fascist regimes. Why do so many people like that?

Infinity war – the crude choice of expanding 6 volumes of an obscure part of Thanos’ character journey, the ” Infinity Gauntlet” story, into 2 movies which COST A FORTUNE and are tedious and complicated to make – and are boring and uninspired from the first moments on, I very much guess th coming second one, too. It feels like a badly written Marvel nightmare. You wake up and thought you saw it in the cinema, but then it turns out it was only your amateur imagination tricking you during a night after you ate a big bloody steak rummaging in your belly.

It is bad.
Infinitely bad.

Very bad, on a human level and in writing. The pacing is off. Most of the dialogues, too. I did not care about the characters because they all failed and tried so hard for 18 movies, but we learned that nothing stands against even ONE Infinity stone. So here we have this copy-cat Titan who dances with the gods (how did he subdue Thor, by the way?) a Randian ego-supervillain who wants to muster the powerful will (wait a minute, a Power Infinity Stone he has already, powering up his will) to re-iterate his home-world´s one-fits-all pseudo-solution: kill half the population so that the second half is thriving. Of course, solves everything if you are the Darwinian death giver, bloody bastard with no goal. He is death, that´s all – and all to impress real death, the infinite paramour Mistress Death, but we never get told. Read the comics. A idolised, animated purple voodoo doll of Thanatos, greek god of the underworld rarely appearing in person. Devised by Jim Starlin who admitted to have made Thanos a rip-off from Jack Kirby´s character Darkseid (the infinitely better villain). It´s basically his fault. Thanatos (/ˈθænətɒs/; Greek: Θάνατος, pronounced in Ancient Greek: [tʰánatos] “Death”, from θνῄσκω thnēskō “to die, be dying”), worshipped in a movie. Beh. That is why Wade Wilson is infinitely better with his undying superpower. He is life and love and caring, and killing, if it really helps. This “getting dirty” is forwarding the human principle to go after the really bad guys, not just erratically killing half the population for a pseudo-darwinistic / economic reason. Benevolent “reasonable” destruction as an super-original Universal law of the universe, the scythe, slapped into the universes´face with his gawdy gay brass gauntlet of colourful plastic toy-stones. Not so great. Get yourself a wollen glove and knit it by yourself, purple bearded bitch, not let giant dwarfs do the work for you (great role for Tyron Lannister commanding the forge of a Neutron star).

We learned in Game of Thrones, better kill off some beloved characters, this stands now for good storytelling. Nope, so far off, Nimble-jimble Jingle-bells of Death, it is not that easy, or good writing – and R.R. Martin did a great, complex job. You missed the metacritic 50% votes of okay by a galaxy or two. It is crap storytelling and they all [spoiler] for nothing and 2h 40min to give a forum to a mass murdering lunatic we learn to “empathiz” aided by his musing – and maybe some lackwit 15 year old wannabe painter thinks: wait a minute, what if he as a point…? This “I make a 50% erratic choice survival of the fittest for all to fall to ashes without knowing why” psychopath explaining his purifying theory of senseless ashes and walking through our heroes. Not fun. I am sure, in the second part of the massacre, we see them all come back because Strange has tampered with the Time stone somehow. Plop. Emotionally detached I was seeing bad performances by a lot of actors including Star Lord and ring-eyed Black Widow Scarlett Johannsson (did she party hard before the shoot?). Tony Stark was ok, but other than having a suit full of (useless) technical trinkets and surprises he is the least prepared of all the superheroes to get stabbed through the stomach with an enormous blade – and surviving. Spiderman seems to be in his coming of age drama like a fun 8-legged pimple and the rest of the cast seems pale – only Vision and his girlfriend seem to have some mature integrity & agency and also Gamora I did actually care for – and she acted well.

The humour is off and only the “my 50% human makes you 100% look stupid” gave me a laugh, but a meagre result for a movie of that length and cost. Oh, I forgot that they mentioned Flash Gordon and Footloose, fine, but that´s it. 2 billion dollar best movie = WTF? It is one of the worst Marvel movies ever. Because it is about loosing hope and giving in to the stronger bully. Ragnarok was better, also forgettable, but better. Dio mio, we cared for some of the characters. Even Loki – now dead within 5mins of the movie,…what a dreadful, crap start. Come on, being dark is ok, but indulging in despairing people who get traumatized for months with a massively thin cliffhanger of a Black-Himalayan-mountain-range-size as hollow as FullHD projection on a big Sheik´s tent? We know its not happening. Too much of a daring “everyone fails” killing off darlings, because of power you cannot withstand. Exactly. Going over corpses is the lesson. You just die trying to oppose the villain, the fascinating bad guy, strong guy, bully.

Captain America was fighting those who are in charge now in many countries his whole comic-character life. In Infinity War this type gets a stage like in a stadium and everybody (50% of the voters?) is cheering. Eerie, why is that movie crushing into Wakanda with an army of monsters shortly after we have learned how superior and great an African nation can be? Black Panther does not stand a chance without the help of white suprematist choice, son of Odin, so it seems. Weird message. Ceterum censeo, a movie to oppose, as it does everything wrong lulling the audience in a spectacle of action to feed them the “unavoidable”…

And I will not have it.
Will not like it.
Will not be amused.
You suck with that Marvel. It is a bad punch under the belt monetizing
on the right-wing no brainer-sentiment of fear of half of the world (less?). This movie a a parasite of anti-intellectualism and not trusting the experts / heroes. We want to see them fail, that is more fuuuuun. No, its not.
Your success is an abomination with this piece of senseless CGI muck.

The Reddit forum /r/ThanosDidNothingWrong and subsequent banning of half of the thread members for fun (including one of the Russo´s) seems simply tasteless. Remember 2nd World War? Remember Human rights and freedom of press and opinion in democracies?
Shall we rehearse to dismantle them, when it is happening for REAL?

Shame on you, Randian bunch of worshippers of negativity and selfishness.

Love you MCU with Deadpool 2, though. You do everything right here. Big apprecation to the writers
and the whole team to pull that off!

…whhheeeeww, now I feel better.

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